Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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