i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
