Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
