Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
