Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
