You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
