This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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