oh god the rape fog is back!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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