party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
