I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
