she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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