I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
