did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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