I like my sex mixed with concussions.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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