she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
