then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
