that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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