why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize