In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
