My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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