I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
tell me about the fingering
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