other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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