You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
