ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
