Nicole vs. Life
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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