im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
