I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm always down for nudity.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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