I should be sponsored by Trojan
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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