so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
