He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize