just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
