dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
