Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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