You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
