so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
