Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
