you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
