you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
