i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
