no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
