Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
