i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
