Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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