Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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