Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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