Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
