It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
