ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
