Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
