I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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