but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
