She went from zero to smokin in five shots
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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