I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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