hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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