Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
