Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize