life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
