It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
