I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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