Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
