I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
