i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
