soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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