So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
