John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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