My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They took my balls.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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