im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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