You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
