He kissed a someone with a penis
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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