I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
