i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
