The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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