sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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