So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Shame - the story of my life.
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