just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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