So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
