you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize