What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
